RACE DOWNHILL (TAR 26)

By now 4 episodes of the current season have been shown to the dwindling audience, so everybody who cares to know already knows what’s the “catch” in this season. Gone are the times of established relationships, gone is diversity of the relationships – the whole cast this season is made up of dating couples vs couples on a race-long blind date (the matchmaker is being played by TAR production). No parent/child, no friends, siblings, co-workers, spouses – this season it’s a dating game, baby!

I actually considered calling this post “Race to the Altar” (that’s what the production is counting on, no?), but then I discovered that there has been a show with that exact name. Check this out (courtesy of Wikipedia):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_to_the_Altar

If there must be a twist, a “catch” – can it be something original? Or all the production can do is recycle old ideas?

I also considered a quote from Hamlet for the title: “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.” Seriously – why else TAR would be so desperate for some (any!) novelty, for some (any!) sparks between the dating and blind-dating couples? Why all these pathetic annoying selfies we are “treated” to? Why let the camera linger in the bedroom of blind-dating couple instead of over some exotic landmark?

And I can’t help but feel that TAR is trying to imitate Survivor. Survivor has those great mud challenges, so TAR now makes the contestants crawl through the mud right off the start line. The only difference – on Survivor mud is part of the challenge itself, on TAR it was a completely pointless unnecessary exercise.

Then – Survivor has all these “…vs…” seasons – “Blood vs Water“, “Blue Collar vs White Collar vs No Collar“, so of course TAR now needs “Dating Couples vs Blind-Dating Couples.” They say – imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and true – Survivor has been great fun the past few seasons while TAR has been racing downhill. Only imitation will never lead to greatness.

I have not finished watching the last season of TAR. It was too ho-hum for my taste. I know a female team won, but I hardly remember who they were, let alone their names. This season I dutifully watched the first four episodes. I still don’t know who is who. Some athletes. Some ex-members of ancient rock band. I hardly know anyone’s name. The personalities are just too bland to stand out in a crowd. I won’t forget Charla and Mirna, or the Cowboys, or the Twinnies (btw, congrats to Natalie for winning the last Survivor! Great game! Loved you on TAR and loved you on Survivor!)…or Jonathan/Victoria, or Rob/Amber, or the Globetrotters, or Kynt/Vyxsin…You can like some of them, hate the others, but you know who they are. They have never been the specks of drying paint on the wall. Unlike the contestants of the past few seasons.

What else can I say? Challenges so far are so-so. What’s with the two back to back dance challenges? Can we do something else but the dance routine? Oh yes, and we got “treated” to a cheesy proposal at one of the Pit Stops. It felt like it was staged by TAR production. Maybe not, but it felt that way. Corny, awkward, insincere. But I bet the production finds it great success nonetheless.

It genuinely pains me to see the show coming to this. I used to love it so. And I wonder if maybe the Race needs to reach the very bottom to start finally crawling up….

And here (in case you still care) you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

A SLICE OF HUMBLE PIE (TAR 25, Episode 4)

We did not encounter any cute little ponies in this episode of The Amazing Race, but we had a delightful opportunity to witness someone eating a huge slice of humble pie. None other than Jim-the-dentist, my favorite so far in this Race.

Let me digress a bit to clarify the meaning of “favorite”. When I call TAR contestant a “favorite” or when I say I “like” him/her – it does not mean I am smitten by their charm or wowed by their athletic ability or blinded by their megawatt smile. It simply means they entertain me the best. They could be kind or mean, pleasant or annoying, smart or dumb –  the only  common denominator is that they bore me the least. By this definition Jim-the-dentist is my “favorite” among the current cast. And this time around he was served a generous slice of humble pie, which made it rather fun to watch. Let’s recap, shall we?

Jim-the-dentist and his sidekick wife Misti are the first to leave. They will be travelling by ferry to Aberdeen and then – by air – to Copenhagen, Denmark. They have enough time to do some research and find the best and earliest flight to Copenhagen. Or so Jim-the-dentist tells us. At this point I am glad that teams will be travelling on different flights, because with such travel there are lots of potential “surprises” and reshuffling. But Jim-the-dentist sounds so sure when he tells us his flight is the best that I believe him and do not expect “surprises”.

Meanwhile other teams make their own flight arrangements, not as good as Jim’s. Except one team. How did they manage to get tickets that would bring them to Copenhagen way before everybody else is still a mystery. Yet somehow they managed. It’s one of two female teams -I think they are Kym and Alli maybe? Anyway, Jim-the-dentist is on the second fastest flight, and he promises us he’ll catch up. Misti smiles her megawatt smile but otherwise remains a speck of paint on the wall. We feel somewhat blinded by the smile but assured by Jim’s confidence.

In Copenhagen teams have to pick newest Ford hybrids and drive across the bridge into Sweden. If they drive their hybrid efficiently (use less than 0.1 gallon of gas) – they will be given the next clue  (the clue directs them back to Copenhagen). If not – they’ll have to answer some geography questions. When I heard that – I was elated! Finally – some knowledge based tasks! some real geography tasks! But the questions were super easy (to name capitals of Denmark, Sweden and Norway) and help from maps and passer-bys was allowed. Tsk-tsk-task, TAR! Time to step up the difficulty level of your knowledge-based tasks beyond fourth grade.

Back in Copenhagen the Detour is a choice between Parking Space (where teams have to set up a parklet precisely like on the picture provided. If they cannot do it in 30 minutes, they have to start over in a new place) or Wedding Cake (where teams have to assemble a traditional wedding cake and transport it to a designated location in a cumbersome bicycle-like contraption). The female team that arrived to Copenhagen first (Kym and Alli?) finish the Wedding Cake Detour and now on the way to the Roadblock. Our Jim-the-dentist (and his sidekick Misti) chooses the Parking Space. At this point Jim-the-dentist shuts up about being first but still assures us that he will not need to use his “Save” (the special pass they won in the first leg that can save them from elimination).

Meanwhile that female team (Kym and Alli??) get to the Roadblock at Ida Davidsen – a sandwich place. Or rather – a smorrebrod place (that’s what sandwiches are called in Denmark). And there are lots of sandwiches…err…smorrebrods there! The task is to memorize the number and the ingredients of 4 such…smorrebrods.

Meanwhile, Jim-the-dentist is making his second (or third?) attempt of setting up a parklet according to the provided picture. Apparently his attention to detail is not as good as he lead us to believe.

The girls (Kym and Alli??) finish the Roadblock quickly, arrive to the Pit Stop first and win two new Ford hybrids. They don’t seem too ecstatic, too fun, too memorable or too anything. No wonder I never bothered learning their names.

At this point Jim-the-dentist decides to switch Detour to Wedding Cake. The surfers, by the way, switch Detours as well, but in the opposite direction. The rest of this cast are plodding along.

At the Roadblock it’s Misti who is memorizing the sandwiches. Jim-the-dentist tells us she has great memory. She struggles though. Surprisingly-  for the surfers it’s the sidekick (what’s his name?) husband that attempts the task. You would think that a non-physical task like this would be an ideal one for handicapped Bethany. But no, maybe her memory is not good. She has not completed a single Roadblock yet.

Misti still struggles. Apparently she memorized the ingredients just fine, but she forgot that she needed to recite the numbers under which the sandwiches were listed. So much for attention to detail again.

By this time Jim-the-dentist knows they are in the last place. And indeed they are. He handles his “Save” to Phil, and he looks humble now. Humble, but not defeated. Good! I don’t like my “favorites” defeated. And then – surprise-surprise! – it’s a non-elimination leg! So Phil returns the “Save” and Jim-the-dentist (along with Misti) lives to run a few more legs.

Let’s see how beneficial the humble pie meal was. See you next time.

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

THE MILESTONE EDITION – THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE USUAL (TAR SEASON 25)

So TAR 25 premiere has been announced, the date has been set for September 26, and the teams have been made known. Whether or not I blog about it depends on how the first episode goes – after all, the past few seasons did nothing to ignite the inspiration (to say the least).
But for a milestone like this – Season 25! – there must be something special in stock. Right? Well, let’s see.

Let’s start with the start line. New York City! Times Square! Nothing against LA and vicinities, but starting every Race there has become stale and predictable. So – yay to the new start line location!

The next change: CBS moved The Amazing Race from Sundays to Fridays. On the surface it seems like a good idea – after all, how many times have we all seen TAR being delayed on Sunday evenings because of some sporting event? But…But – how many people sit home and watch TV on Friday nights? Friday nights are get-together nights, date-nights, drinks-with-collegues-after-work nights. Yes, there is always your trusted DVR. Yes, you can watch episodes online the next day. But there is still the danger of decreased number of viewers, decreased ratings and eventual demise. Especially if the show continues to be like the last season’s.

Let’s see if the cast is fun for a change. We’ll learn more details closer to the premiere. At the first glance – the cast looks diverse: white, black, asian, straight, gay. But all relatively young, all relatively buff – not much diversity in the age department, nor in physical. Where is brawn vs brains here? Where is wisdom vs youth? Not so diverse, after all. No repeat players, no so-called “stars” (thanking the literal stars for that!). So far so good. A team of blonde Barbies – the usual nuisance we are made to put up with. A couple of recycled second-tier Survivor contestants. More like tenth-tier players really – I do watch Survivor, but they don’t look even vaguely familiar. So – yes, the usual again. No recycled Big Brother contestants – I guess at least that’s good. Who else? A surfer whose arm was eaten by a shark (and whose experience the movie “Soul Surfers” was based upon) – once again TAR production shoots for a sob story. With an “inspirational” twist – “don’t give up!” The usual. Nothing against inspirational, but they somehow manage to make it so cheesy. Let’s hope it will not be the case in this milestone season.

Another thing – Phil Keoghan looks suddenly old and worn out. I like Phil and don’t really mind, but somehow it is so obvious. Maybe he should get some “beauty tips” from the Survivor’s Jeff Probst or maybe – just maybe – if his own show becomes more fun, the youthful spark will return to his eyes and his delighted smile will smooth out the wrinkles?…just saying…

What do I hope to see in this milestone season? First and foremost – I don’t care whether the cast is diverse and “politically correct” – I want fun, daring, entertaining teams. I don’t want them run around holding hands and helping each other. I want drama! Otherwise – why waste my time? It’s a reality show – I don’t want “lessons to learn”, cheesy proclamations (“I don’t give up!”) and sob stories repeated ad nauseam or masquerading as inspirational. Call me bloodthirsty, cruel, shallow, what not, but I want drama. And most viewers do. We want something to talk about, to gasp at, even something that some love to hate (hello, team Brenchel! Hello, Twinnies!). Not perfectly nice but perfectly boring people. “Perfectly nice” is good in your next door neighbors. But this is a reality show – we want Drama. Not only dramatic shots of far-away places (National Geographic does a better job at that anyway), but contestants-related drama. No kumbaya, please. No hand holding. No collectively done challenges.

Also – against all hopes and against all odds – I hope for intellectually stimulating show. At least somewhat. No contestants that do not know the difference between the Great Wall of China and the Berlin Wall (hello, the blonde Barbies from the most recent All-Stars!). If you want to travel the world – care to learn at least a little bit about the world. Dumbness is not entertaining nor it is amusing. Instead of dumbing it down, why the production can’t set the standard a little bit higher? This way the viewers with higher standards would not be totally bored, and the viewers with lower standards have “room to grow”, so to speak.

In my ideal scenario a clue would read something like this: “You are going to the country that is the largest landlocked country in the world. You have two attempts to correctly name this country in order to get on the  flight that lands two hours ahead of other flights”. Perhaps (hopefully) at least one of the teams would name the country correctly, and their knowledge of world geography would be rewarded by some advantage in the Race (landing two hours earlier than others). For the teams that did not name the country after two attempts (and without any help from the internet or passer-bys!) there would be the next clue: “The capital of this country is named Astana and was moved from Almaty in 1997. You have two attempts to correctly name the country in order to get on the second flight that lands 1 hour after the first flight.” If after 4 attempts (2 in the first clue and 2 in the second clue) the teams still cannot name the country correctly, then the production could dumb it down with the third question: “This is the country where fictional personality Borat is from“. The answer is – Kazakhstan, by the way. But if some teams still cannot name it – well, maybe they take an hour penalty before the destination is revealed to them. Fair and fun. And the viewers might learn a thing or two. Maybe for the production it is cheaper to let all the teams run together, but for the viewers it’s more fun when the teams separate from each other, especially based not only upon pure luck, but rather their wit (or knowledge, or risk-taking ability, or daring and bold decisions).

As I said – I am not sure yet whether or not I will be blogging about this season. Depends if I find it fun – the previous few were not great fun to watch, let alone blog about. I know, it can be said “blog or don’t blog – who cares?”. And perhaps it’s right, perhaps only a few people care. But in the long run – it’s one drop at a time, one blogger at a time, one viewer at a time that can lead to a demise of once great show.

Hope it does not come to that.

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW (TAR 24 “All Stars” Finale)

Dear TAR production – you reap what you sow. You hastily sowed a cast with perhaps a couple of decent teams among the majority of boring and unexciting ones. You labeled them “All Stars” while “Leftovers” would have been more appropriate. And you hoped for a great season?! What you reaped was a boring season and disappointed fans. The locations were alright, there were a couple of decent challenges, the animals (elephants, donkeys, Bernese mountain dogs) were as cute as ever. But without a good cast it is all lost on you. Read the Facebook comments from the fans, dear TAR people. Read the fans discussion threads. Talk to the fans. You will know. Meanwhile, the Survivor is having a nail-biting season, one of the best ever. So I can’t blame it all on CBS, it’s TAR production that’s not up to par.

I have always been a big fan of TAR and watched every season (except the family edition). I just returned from an almost three weeks long trip to Europe, and normally it would have been unthinkable for me not to catch up on TAR episodes that I have missed while traveling. Especially since I had a few lazy, care-free days at home upon my return. But this time it was kind of “meh”. I watched the Survivor, binged on Netlix’ “House of Cards” (finished the whole season in 2 days) and didn’t even think of TAR until the finale.

And speaking of the finale – one of the most boring ever! Neither the glitter of Vegas, nor the magic of David Copperfield could fix it. There were no memory challenges, nothing that would require any mental exertion, let alone mental power. Not much physical power either – unlock the locks, unscrew the bulbs. The rest was in the hands of the taxi drivers. The most drama was provided by the bickering Brenchel. Sad.

The final parachute jump was a nice visual, but it would have been infinitely better if the contestants had to complete some memory challenge or mental task or solving a puzzle or something to make them earn the order in which they jumped. Alas!

“Sob Story” (David and Connor) got on the ground first. They are our “All Stars” winners. Who cares if they are the first parent/child team? Who cares if David is 58 (not 60 as he whined to us when they were U-turned by Brenchel)? They are just a boring-boring team. The flowers wilt when they talk, the babies fall asleep instantly. That monotone, that boring. Petty, too. And vindictive. That’s our winners. They are also clear winners on my poll  “Which team on this “All-Stars” season you find the most boring?”  As of today 160 people have voted, and more than 31% of them named David and Connor the winners.

Here is the link to the poll – see for yourself:

https://amazingracefan.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/the-only-all-stars-were-the-elephants-episode-6-tar-24-all-stars/

The second place on that poll corresponds to the second place in this season of TAR. Jennifer and Caroline (aka “Country Singers”, aka “Over-botoxed Barbies”, aka “Lookalike Blondes”) got the second place. They might be sweet and maybe not quite as “blah” as David and Connor, but they are probably the most undeserving team ever to get to the final three. They were helped along the way many times by multiple teams. They never won a leg, not in any one of their two seasons. They got lucky twice (twice!) to be saved by a “non-elimination” leg.

The third place on this season of TAR goes to Brenchel. They are not as highly placed on my poll of the most boring. Because boring they are not. They are annoying (in all fairness – mostly Rachel; Brendon is just by association). What’s with all this talk about winning the Race to have a baby? I partly blame TAR production for all this annoying “baby” talk edit. They get something catchy – a phrase, a fact, a revelation, whatever it might be – and keep drilling it into our heads again and again and again. Enough already. But other than being somewhat annoying, Brenchel is not an undeserving team. They are strong, supportive of each other. They have never received any help from any of the teams. In fact, several teams united against them. So they faced the adversity that other teams didn’t have to face.  Yet they got in the final three. In my view it’s quite deserving.

Anyway, what can I wish for the next season? First and foremost – an interesting cast. People who are exciting, entertaining, fun, unpredictable, not afraid of taking risks and facing adversity.

Please-please-please – no “group” challenges where one team practically does the challenge for another team (or greatly helps another team). It is unfair to the other teams and boring to the viewers.

Give time penalty for help from passerbys. That Roadblock in Italy where most teams had to know Roman numerals, remember?  In my humble view – you ask a passerby to help with the Roadblock – you should get a time penalty. This will let contestants that DO KNOW the answer get ahead. Knowledge should be rewarded. Dumbness should not. Asking help from a passerby for a Roadblock is not the same as asking a passerby for street directions.

No third-timers please. Even if they were good in their first season, in majority of cases it is all downhill from there. Besides, let us see new faces – we might discover the real stars, not the arbitrarily (by whom, I wonder? ) designated ones.

And have I mentioned a fun, interesting cast and no group challenges? 🙂

Hopefully (although after this lackluster season – no guarantees) till next season, fellow TAR fans. Our numbers have dwindled. Let’s hope the next season can bring them back.

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

U-TURN IS THE SPICE OF THE RACE! (Episode 8 TAR 24 “All Stars”)

We find the remaining teams leaving la bella Roma in cute, fast, little Ford cars. I know, I know – some of you are rolling your eyes now: “spare us the product placement!” But! Even though Ford has nothing to do with this blog, it does sponsor The Amazing Race show. And with less than stellar casts there is potential loss of viewers –  so, God knows, TAR needs all the sponsors they can get! The least I can do as a fan is mention their sponsor here.

Anyway, while our teams are driving to an Italian town of Civita, we are being informed : “Caution: Double U Turn ahead!” and it’s music to my ears! Of course it could mean disappointment if the teams – one by one – solemnly proclaim near the U Turn sign: “We choose not to U Turn!” But it also can mean spicing things up. Now, this spice can taste somewhat bitter to me – like when Travis and Nicole last season chose to U Turn my favorite Afghanimals for no reason at all (the Afghanimals survived though!). Or the spice can taste sweet to me – like when James and Jaymes from season 21 U Turned presumptuous and annoying Abbie and Ryan (they did not survive!). But no matter bitter or sweet – I would take it. Anything but bland and boring! And to me, the U Turn on The Amazing Race  is that much needed tool that can make things slightly more exciting. So – spice it up!

Team Brenchel is the first team to leave, and they make it to their destination without problem. They inform us that they plan to U Turn the Cowboys – to flush out the Express Pass. I might be mistaken, but I thought this leg was the last leg to use the Express Pass anyway, so – it would be “flushed out” regardless.

The look-alike blondes are next. They tell us how much they like team SobStory (aka Father&Son) and how much they want to work together. Team SobStory, in turn, tells us how wonderful and smart (?!) the blondes are. They all praise each other and leave together as a little caravan – with the blondes following the SobStory. I can’t even tell you how much I dislike it when teams work together. Collective efforts make this show soooo much less fun. Less fun, less exciting and less fair even. The show is about teams of two competing against each other, not teams of four or teams of six working with each other. It might be more convenient and safer for the teams to work together, but much less fun for the viewers. Wish it was disallowed by the rules! Luckily, the blondes got separated from their two-team caravan.

Team Brenchel is the first at the Detour. There are two options – “Donkey Run” (you have to ride a real live donkey) or “Donkey Build” (you have to build a toy donkey from provided  parts). Is it just me, or we have one too many toy building challenges this season (building a toy car in China, building a toy donkey in Italy?)

The live donkeys are fun though. Animal-related challenges always bring fun to the Race. Donkeys are very stubborn and somewhat unpredictable, and we have a few laughs watching our teams trying to ride them. Team Brenchel finishes their ride quickly, but team SobStory is hot on their heels. Brenchel is currently in the first place, and they want to keep it this way. So I was not surprised at all that – to distance themselves from the next closest team (which was the SobStory), they decided right on the spot to U Turn them rather than Cowboys (whom they originally planned to U Turn).

The U Turn seemed quite logical to me – the first place is desirable and there is a prize that goes with the first place. I would have done exactly the same to separate myself further from the next closest team (thus increasing my chances to get to the Pit Stop first). Very logical.

Yet team SobStory proved to be sore “losers” in this situation. “They never helped us!” – complained Connor – “remeber how in Rome they didn’t tell us where the clue box was?”  Oh, why should they, Connor? “How could she U Turn 60 year old man!” – lamented Dave. Oh please, Dave, no need to play the “age card” here!  If your age is such a handicap that you need a special consideration, why don’t you just enjoy this show from the comfort of your armchair? You area so boring anyway!

A few blogs back I made a poll asking the readers to name the most boring team this season. The poll is made in such a way that multiple votes are not allowed. Of the 117 people that voted so far (as of this day), a third finds team SobStory (Father&Son) the most boring team this season (they share the top 3 with now eliminated team Oy Vey and the lookalike blondes):(https://amazingracefan.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/the-only-all-stars-were-the-elephants-episode-6-tar-24-all-stars/)

While Dave is whining about being U Turned, the Cowboys and the Afghanimals arrive to the U Turn sign. Dave promptly chooses to U Turn the Afghanimals (since the Cowboys had already used their Express Pass to skip the Detour completely) with teary explanation that he was left no choice by that awful, mean Brenchel team. The Afghanimals – to their huge credit – take it in stride, not as a personal offense. “It’s the game,” – they say – and I can’t agree more. U Turn is a feature of this game you are all playing – why not use it? There is nothing awful, cruel or illegal about it. Kudos to the Afghanimals for recognizing this and remaining their usual cheerful selves.

Team SobStory – to minimize the “damage” they just did to the Afghanimlas – offer to work together. While they are working together, the lookalike blondes arrive and join the collective effort. Grrr! That collective work should definitely be disallowed! Take the blondes, for example – had they been doing all the challenges by themselves, do you think they would have still been here?

Meanwhile, we see a glimpse of the Globetrotters – lost and so hopelessly behind that it’s all but certain that (unless it’s a non-elimination leg) they will be going home.

While the Globetrotters are finding the way, team Brenchel arrives to the Roadblock. The Roadblock “The write stuff” involves diligently copying a page from an ancient manuscript. It requires attention to detail, steady hand and patience.

Rachel finishes first and off they go to the Pit Stop (although not before hearing David’s sarcastic “thank you”). Brandon tries to explain to Dave that the U Turn was not personal (they want to be first, they want to get the prize – what’s not to understand?) yet team SobStory is still bitter. So bitter in fact that 60-year-old Dave resorts to mocking Brenchel behind their back with some silly pantomime. It all looks clumsy and  pitiful. And still – can I say it often enough? – sort of boring. Team SobStory and fun are mutually exclusive. Yes, I hear it – they are nice people in real life. Helpful. Gentlemanly. But -alas – it does not translate to entertaining or fun. I don’t really care what they are in real life. They bore me to tears on the show.

Team Brenchel gets what they hoped for – first place at the Pit Stop. And $7500 each. Try to tell them it was not worth it to U Turn the SobStory! 

The Afghanimals survive the 3rd U Turn in their Amazing Race history. Good for you, guys! Way to go!

The Globetrotters are the last team to arrive (soooo predictable) and are eliminated from the Race. The Globetrotters used to be one of my favorite teams. They delighted me in their first Amazing Race. I still liked them in their second season. But now – I couldn’t care less about them. Despite their impressive sizes, they were largely invisible on this Race. And not entertaining at all. Keep in mind though – they are professional entertainers! If the professional entertainers cannot entertain – there is a problem. Or maybe it’s just that 3rd time on the Race is a little too much, even for the team that was fun in the past. Anyway – no tears here at their departure.

Now – there won’t be any blog next week or the week after. I am going to Europe for a couple of weeks, and I doubt that I’ll have access to watch (or time to write about) TAR. I don’t think I’ll miss much – if it were not for animal-related challenges, U Turns and maybe perhaps the exuberant Afghanimals, there wouldn’t be much excitement anyway.

The preview of the next episode shows that team Brenchel becomes “enemy # 1” while teams SobStory, look-alike Blondes and Afghanimals make a pact to be the final three. I know Rachel and Brandon are fighters, so I would not discount them so easily. Still – I am afraid the final three will be  just like that preview – SobStory, Blondes and Afghanimals.

I have high hopes for the Afghanimals. The other two teams of this new alliance are sooooo undeserving. The blondes just rode coattails most of this (and their past) season. The SobStory might be strong, nice, “gentlemanly” and all that in real life, but they have been boring most fans to tears (for the 2nd season now!). For that alone – their victory would be a letdown. Much like the previous season’s victory of that nice but so boring couple whose name most of us don’t even remeber.

But let’s see. I hope to be back from Europe in time for the Season Finale. Meanwhile – enjoy what’s left of this less than star-like “All Stars” and don’t completely defect to Survivor (although I must say – it is very tempting this season!) 🙂

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

IV-XIII, MMXIV (Episode 7, TAR 24 “All Stars”)

I hope against all hope that there are at least some TAR fans who could decipher the title of this blog. None of TAR contestants (“All Stars”!) would. Not on their own anyway. If it were not for Roman passerby’s, they would be still in Rome, trying to make sense of the Roman numerals. By the way, IV-XIII, MMXIV simply means April 13, 2014 – the day that episode aired. “Mystery” solved.

I have a confession to make as to why I am writing this recap (or should I call it “musings”?) 5 days after the episode aired. I was not too busy. I was not traveling. I was not otherwise too occupied. I simply forgot to watch the episode. Forgot that TAR was on. It is sad to me – I watched every single season of The Amazing Race (except the family edition), and I would never forget. So that’s the first. Is it me or is it TAR? – I don’t know. But the “Survivor” this season has a whole bunch of memorable, daring, deliciously “evil” and very colorful characters, and that’s where my attention is diverted. TAR, on the other hand, might call its cast “All Stars” all they want, but if the most loyal fans forget the show is on, there is a problem.

All this being said, it’s not TAR production – it’s TAR cast that is the problem. I still think the production didn’t do a bad job with the challenges. The episode began with a puzzle the contestants had to solve : “you are going to the Eternal City”. You would say – what kind of puzzle is that? – everybody knows that it’s Rome that is called the Eternal City! But it’s TAR All-Stars we are talking about! Of course half of them have to consult the internet to find out what the “Eternal City” is (wish those who used help would incur at least some penalty to slow them down!). The look-alike blondes (the ones that called the Berlin Wall the Great Wall of China in their season) look at each other  with their expressionless (frozen by Botox?) faces: “Eternal City? What the …. it is?!”  and I can’t help but wonder once again: “how did they end up on this show? whom did they have to bribe to be there?“…

Anyway, the teams all end up on the same flight to Rome – zero excitement there. The Detour was so-so in terms of fun and excitement – you either had to impersonate a gladiator (wooden sword, ferocious facial expression – all that) or you could instead impersonate your 5-year old nephew (and operate remote-controlled toy chariot). But the Roadblock was great – kudos to TAR production! It was both fun and painful to watch.

I know Phil called it the most difficult task ever, but don’t be deceived by that. The task was very simple – to count the number of steps of the Spanish Steps in Rome (135) and add this number to the date written on the monument above (1789). That is all. Simple arithmetic. You don’t even need a pen to do this calculation. Then why, or why not a single “All Star” could solve it on his own?! Not even the “brilliant physicist” Brendon. Not even old (and supposedly wise) Dave. As for the Globetrotters – they had a deja vu, just like in Prague where they (unable to solve the task) had to take time penalty. If it were not for Roman passerby’s – none of our “All Stars” would be able to complete this Roadblock. None. Why? The date on the monument was written in Roman numerals. And the final calculation has to be expressed in Roman numerals. Yes, we don’t use Roman numerals routinely, but they are all over you – how could you not know them? Have you never seen “XX century” written with Roman numerals?! Have you never seen “King Louis XIV” written with Roman numerals?! Have you never seen “Chapter IV” written with Roman numerals?! Apparently none of the “All Stars” have.

I was cringing and felt shame for the fellow compatriots, but still – I loved watching this challenge! The only improvement I would make is that I would not allow contestants use any help from passerby’s. Or at least – make them take some time penalty for using help. After all, people who do know their Roman numerals (ditto for people who know their geography, history, art, etc.) should be rewarded. To show the viewers (whatever viewers are left) that knowledge is power is advantage on TAR.

It would help to choose more erudite contestants, too. And more fun contestants. And more memorable ones. And more entertaining ones. But that’s asking too much 🙂

Team “Oy Vey” was eliminated, by the way. But do you really care?

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

 

WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE (Episode 5 TAR 24 “All Stars”)

Episode 5 takes us to Colombo, Shri Lanka. So I almost (quoting the Afghanimals) entitled this recap “Twinnies’ Motherland“. Too bad they are no longer on the Race to see their home country. But then I decided to use Rachel’s quote for the title. Even though I like Twinnies a lot, Rachel grows on me more and more. She is a fighter and a risk taker, she is what makes TAR fun to watch. I know there are some fans who like “nice”, non-controversial teams (snoozer teams, like David and Connor), but it’s teams like Rachel’s, teams that are “loud”, “annoying” and “too much” that really make the Race fun. Shall we recap?

So the teams are told that they will be flying to Colombo, Shri Lanka where they will get their next clue in a Buddhist temple after being blessed by a monk. There is a direct flight to Colombo, and it can take all teams but two. Predictably (predictability is so exasperating!) the order of the teams after the previous leg determines the order they get on this flight. The last two teams are Margie/Luke and team “Brenchel”, so of course they are the ones that find the direct flight full. There is however a flight with a connection in Singapore that arrives to Shri Lanka even a little earlier than the direct one. The caveat is – the layover in Singapore is only 30 minutes, and everybody who flies would know – it’s insanely tight and the chances of making that connection are extremely low.

Margie and Luke prudently decide not to take that risk. They get themselves on standby for the direct flight and hope for the best. Rachel, however, decides to take the risk. Against the advice of the travel agency, against doubts of her own partner Brendon, against prudence. “What do we have to lose?” – she says. And that makes us cling to the edge of our seats – “will they make it? will they not make it?”. That’s what makes the show exciting – the risk takers like Rachel, not the prudent ones like Margie. So I am glad the risk takers got rewarded and made it to Colombo ahead of all the rest.

There is an equalizer in Colombo – it’s late at night, the temple will open in the morning, so all the teams are together again. All except Margie and Luke. I don’t know about you, but I was pretty sure that was the end of them.

The rest of the teams get pretty much together to the Detour. In “Fishing Poll” each member of the team had to catch a fish with provided gear, in “Spin Control” they had to learn and perform a local dance while holding spinning plates. Dave and Connor are lucky enough to catch their fish right away. I had actually noticed before how lucky they were. And if catching fish can be (at least somewhat) attributed to the skill, getting a fast taxi (which had been happening to them a lot) is pure luck. Watch them in the future to see if I am right (and I know I am!) – they are very lucky.

Anyway, teams finish their respective Detours and make it to the Roadblock at the clothing factory. In this Roadblock called “A stitch in time saves nine” one member of each team has to sew a shirt after a quick demonstration. Connor informs us that he hasn’t sewn since tha sewing class he took in high school. At least he had a sewing class! Many others didn’t know sewing from sowing. Anyway, I had a feeling that Connor (what with his previous sewing class and them just being a lucky team) would finish first.

Sure enough, Connor did finish first, and his father and he got to be the first team at the Pit Stop.

At the Pit Stop we (for the millionth time!) are reminded about Connor and David’s ordeal last time around. It is emphasized that it was in the 5th leg that David and Connor had to leave the race last time, and it is in the 5th leg now that they came first to the Pit Stop. TAR production hopes to get our eyes misty but instead makes us gag. Please stop doing that. Nothing against David and Connor. I almost wish they annoyed me, but they don’t. They don’t annoy me, don’t make me laugh, don’t bother me, don’t excite me. My eyes just glaze over them, my emotions unstirred. If it were not for that constant pushing of their “sob story”, I wouldn’t have even noticed them. That is how remarkably unremarkable they are. Dare I hope that the “sob story” is now over?

Predictably enough Margie and Luke are the last team at the Pit Stop. In their goodbye they tell us all that standard boring stuff. How their relationship grew. How they understand each other much better now. *Yawn* 

Team “Brenchel” survives – even moves up a few places. Despite the Speed Bump (painting 15 t-shirts) and all. I am so glad that risk taking worked for them. So glad they are still there…

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

TANTRUM IN THE BAR (Episode 4 TAR 24 “All Stars”)

The 4th leg of the Race begins with … nausea. Why nausea, you would ask. It’s because TAR production keeps jamming down our collective throats that stale overused “sob story” – once again we are reminded of David and Connor’s ordeal in their past TAR season, once again we are “treated” to shots of David hopping on crutches, of tears glistening in the corners of his eyes, of solemn proclamations and some such. For many viewers (myself obviously included) it has become a severe allergic reaction by now. What makes it worse is the fact that – aside from that “sob story” – there is nothing memorable, fun or even remotely interesting about David and Connor. Granted – they might be sweet, nice, decent and what not in real life, but watching them on a reality show is about as exciting as watching paint dry. But – alas – we have no choice but to endure this if we want to go on with the show.

The teams are sent to a park where the Roadblock awaits. In “Leaps and Bounds” one team member has to pull a flag while jumping on a bamboo trampoline. Some succeed sooner, some – later. Eventually everybody makes it to one of three flights that take the teams to the next destination – Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. Somewhere along the way TAR production decides to inform us (via Margie) that Luke, Margie’s son, is gay. So? What’s your point? Maybe the “gay quota” for the season is not reached (after all, there is no obviously gay team on this so-called “All Stars”) and TAR production feels it’s imperative to assure the viewers “dot you worry, we do have at least one gay this season! Here, see – Luke!” But Luke’s sexual orientation is totally irrelevant. What IS relevant, however, is that he is an impatient brat, a spoiled momma’s boy and a total cry baby. Which we would see proof of once again, at the Detour.

First plane carries the Cowboys, the ever joyful Afghanimals and ever bland David and Connor. Second plane is delayed and takes off practically at the same time as the third plane. Once in Kuala Lumpur, the teams head to the site of their Detour – SkyBar at the rooftop of the Traders Hotel. The Detour is an homage to the local night life – in Mix Masters both team members have to successfully learn DJ’s duties, in Master Mix they have to pour colorful cocktails from a single stack of glasses into 7 martini glasses without mixing colors. Both tasks are challenging, although teams who attempted Mix Masters seemed to finish faster.

Leo and Jamal – our cheerful cousins –  had to switch Detours (aye! that didn’t work for them well last season!), yet it didn’t slow them down much. Actually, all three teams from the first plane were the first three teams at the Pit Stop (the Cowboys took the first place and won a trip to London).

The last two teams stuck at the Master Mix task were team “Brenchel” and Margie/Luke. I found it mildly ironic that Rachel (who tells us she used to be a cocktail waitress and who seems like she belongs in a bar) found the task too difficult. But it’s one thing to find a task difficult yet keep trying, and another thing to throw temper tantrums upon finding a slightest difficulty. I am talking about Luke here –  an almost 30 year old strapping lad smashing stacks of glasses on the floor and slamming doors in frustration. You would think he has grown up since his last tantrum on TAR (tea tasting ceremony Roadblock in TAR 18), but no – his tantrums grew, not he. Just to think of all the fine china and crystal glasses he destroyed!

Anyway, it is obvious that Margie and Luke should be the last team. Margie, ever so protective of her grown up brat, even suggests to “Brenchel” taking penalty instead of completing the Detour. To Rachel’s honor, she declines the offer. Thank you, Rachel, from all of the viewers. If fate has it that you are the chosen ones for the Race – then at least race. Do something. Try. Persevere. Laugh. Cry. Entertain us. But don’t take stupid penalties.

Unfortunately, team “Brenchel” is less lucky than Margie (I am only counting Margie since Luke is less of an asset and more of a liability here), and they are the last team at the Pit Stop. But! Fortunately, it’s a non-elimination leg, so we don’t say goodbye to team “Brenchel” just yet. Good, because I grew fond of Rachel. She is a strong and gracious competitor, and she is entertaining. And even that green sequins that somebody on my blog commented about – hey, they are fun! Not many would dare, but she did. And for that – I like her even more 🙂   Glad she and hers are still alive in the Race.

till next episode!

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

TO LOSE THE CLOTHES OR TO LOSE THE RACE? (Episode 2 TAR 24 “All Stars”)

We find our teams departing in search for their first destination of this leg of the race – a martial arts academy. Some take metro, others take taxi. Still others (like our fearless Cowboys) run who knows where for 50 minutes straight. By the time each team reaches the academy and gets their foreheads stamped by the martial arts instructor (the stamp bears the name of their next destination), their positions get reshuffled quite a bit. Getting ahead of myself, I would say that this was the most exciting part of the whole episode – it’s all downhill from here. Even despite two little twists ahead.

Everybody eventually finds their way to a toy land or kids’ amusement park – whatever that place was it was full of kids and toys. The Roadblock here was to build a toy car using instructions written in Chinese. Instructions provided pictures, so everybody manages ok, more or less. Except the blondes (who probably paid someone to get on the show or else they wouldn’t be even near the All Stars). The blondes apparently think that they need to read Chinese in order to complete the task at hand (but no surprise there – these are the same blondes who couldn’t tell Berlin Wall from the Great Wall of China). While one of them (isn’t it funny how you still can’t tell them apart?) just stares blankly at Chinese hieroglyphs, the other is begging one of the Cowboys for an Express Pass. The Cowboys pretty much let us know in the beginning of the episode that the second Express Pass was “burning their hands”, so I knew they would try to get rid of it sooner rather than later. And here was a perfect opportunity – a completely non-threatening and quite inept team who would be advantageous to keep. Our brothers understood this well and produced the Express Pass for the blondes. Of course the blondes were absolutely sure they got the Express Pass on the merit of their charms alone. Well, blondes will be blondes. At least these ones.

On to the second “twist” of the episode. Mark (of team “Kentucky” Mark and Mallory) finishes the Roadblock in no time – well ahead of all other teams. Now they have to deliver the assembled toy car to the children somewhere at the cultural center. In all the commotion and excitement, however, Mark and Mallory forget a backpack behind. Unfortunately they realize it too late  – after they get their next clue. Here is a dilemma now – keep racing while they are still a little ahead? or make a detour to pick up the backpack and then continue on with the race? If there were passports in the pack – it would be a no-brainer: you cannot travel without your passports. But what if it’s only full of clothes? Mallory proposes to forget the pack and keep racing because the other teams are on their heels. She has Mark’s passport and medications with her, so she thinks losing a bag of clothes is no big deal compared with the possible consequences of losing time. “So what if you lose your clothes?   – begs Mallory – We could lose the Race! If it was my bag, I would forget about it and race in the same clothes!”  But Mark doesn’t want to race in the same clothes. He says he can’t really afford to lose them. And his backpack was borrowed anyway. “I’ll buy you a new one!” -“No! we just don’t understand each other!“…And on that I have to agree with Mark – that is what happens when two people who don’t know each other are put together by the circumstances beyond their control.

While Mark and Mallory go back and forth about the backpack , the rest of the teams catch up and surge ahead. The Detour is a choice between two tasks “Feather Ball” or “China Cup“. In Feather Ball you have to score a certain number of points playing Feather Ball with a group of Chinese people. The caveat is – you have to use the body parts other than hands or arms to hit the ball. In China Cup you have to experience an ancient form of Chinese alternative medicine – cupping therapy. It supposedly detoxifies your body and increases the flow of blood, but it involves glass suction cups placed on your body with the help of fire. Even though it looks like a form of a medieval torture, it’s actually not that bad – in the past I used to be both the giver and the recipient of this therapy, so I do know. But I am sure most of the teams did not know, so everybody chose the Feather Ball Detour.

And from now on everybody is pretty much together , neck in neck. I have no idea why anyone can find this exciting. I certainly don’t. The whole cast arrives as a single group to the Pit Stop with barely seconds separating the teams. Poor Phil even lost track of who is in what place. Not exciting at all…Mallory and Mark – who went to retrieve the forgotten backpack – are the last team to arrive, even though they are just several minutes behind the team before them. Makes you wonder – what if they disregarded the forgotten backpack and kept racing instead? They would definitely still be in the race. Chance for a million dollars or a bag of clothes? I wonder if Mark regrets his choice. I know Mallory does.

Other than that – what can I say about the teams? The stars seem pretty dim so far. Even my favorite Globetrotters are not their usual funny selves. The Afghanimals (my other favorites)  – disappoint me by recycling their old jokes (“my wife is pregnant! let us through! we need to go to the hospital!“). The Cowboys (neither favorite nor unfavorite) also keep recycling their “oh my gravy!” *Yawn*…

Surprisingly (and I know I might get some personal enemies by writing this) I find team Brenchel quite appealing. To me it’s obvious that it is Rachel who drives that team. Like her or hate her – you cannot deny she has certain tenacity and fire in her. And whatever she is – she is not boring. You sort of want to watch her, not just glaze over her (like you glaze over, say, Dave and Connor or John and Jessica). And for that I do appreciate her. So I said it – go ahead, hate me for that 🙂

Now, before I say “until the next episode“, here is a little poll. If you were part of team Kentucky (Mark and Mallory) – would you return to pick up the backpack full of clothes? Or would you keep racing, even if it meant racing in the same clothes?

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

THE TWILIGHT OF THE TWINNIES (Episode 1 TAR 24 “All-Stars”)

Having barely recovered from the surprising team choice  for this All-Stars season (John and Jessica? Dave and Connor? Caroline and Jen? – REALLY?!), we encounter another surprise right at the start line.

This time the surprise seems to be the one out of anyone’s control: Bopper (of Mark and Bopper team) cannot race due to a sudden health problem. However, the teams’ and fans’ disappointment is somewhat mitigated by allowing Mark to race with a new teammate – Mallory Ervin (from TAR 17 and TAR 18).

I personally don’t mind Mallory – she was somewhat annoying in her exuberance, but her enthusiasm and joie de vivre were contagious. I do think though that changing the dynamics of a team so abruptly and putting together two people who barely know each other is almost a guarantee for a failure. So I will not be surprised if this newly made team will be eliminated very soon. Still – it is fair to give Mark a chance even if Bopper cannot run, and such solution is definitely better than eliminating the whole Mark-and-Bopper team right at the start for something beyond their control. So it is what it is.

As soon as Phil gives his famous “The world is waiting for you – GO!”, the teams have to find the right match for a Chinese spelling of the name “Guangzhou” – their first destination. The order in which they find the correct match would determine whether they get on the first or second flight to China. The “Afghanimals”, the “Cowboys”, the “Twinnies” and Dave and Connor get on the earlier flight.

The first task in Guangzhou is to find one of three specific bridal dress shops among tons of similar shops to receive the next clue. The streets are narrow and the layout of the area is confusing. The dresses are too puffy and the shops are too look-alike. The Afghanimals and the Twinnies are looking for the right shops together. Unsuccessfully, I must say. So unsuccessfully that people from the second flight catch up and surge ahead. In fact, the Twinnies are among the last teams to arrive to the next destination – Canton Tower, where the teams have to ride the world’s tallest “Ferries wheel” and look for their next clue.

The clues – it seemed – are placed only in the even-numbered cars of the “Ferris wheel”, and some teams that are more lucky than others discover them on the first ride. Our Twinnies – alas! – are not one of those lucky teams. They have to ride the “Ferries wheel” again and try their luck again. It doesn’t help them that they cannot come to a decision. Fighting and yelling at each other might make for an amusing TV, but it does not help our Twinnies at all.

Meanwhile, the teams with the clues are directed to the stadium where one member of each team has to perform a Roadblock – 5 high-wire flips. Here we get a chance to take a longer look at each team.

The Cowboys are quite efficient. The Globetrotters never lose their sense of humor. The Afghanimals are cheerful and joyful – Leo finishes his 5 flips but keeps going – just for fun. Joey (of the You Tube team) is acting even dorkier than he is – faking it for the cameras, no doubt.

Rachel calls her new husband “Pookie”. Seriously – “Pookie”?! That is quite a puke-y. Margie is quite a puke-y, too – whining non-stop (through the whole episode) how she (at 56) is such an old, old, old woman. And how she needs to prove to all old women something or other. Such clichés are just s000 puke-y!

Look, Margie – yes, you ARE an old woman. But not because you are 56 though. I know 60 and 70-something who are upbeat, optimistic and  fun, and they come across as youthful. But you – even your voice sounds like worn-out creaking joints. O-l-d. Not because you are 56 – because you are sour and humorless. And full of clichés. And boring.

The rest of the teams are remarkably unremarkable, so I won’t waste the time.

The Cowboys are the first to arrive to the Pit Stop, and they get 2 Express Passes – one for them and one to be given away to the team of their choice by the 5th leg of the Race. Jessica and John (who arrive closer to the bottom) assure us that they are very happy precisely because they did not get the Express Pass this time. They want to avoid an “oy vey” moment. But happiness resulting from not getting an Express Pass – isn’t it an “oy vey” moment in itself?

At the end it’s between the You Tubers and the Twinnies. I wish that order was reversed, but – alas! – the Twinnies are the last team at the Pit Stop. Too bad. In the past – they annoyed some fans and delighted the others. But no one was left indifferent, no one could call them “boring”. Isn’t it what an ideal team on TAR should be? – fans can disagree about liking them, but none of the fans can sincerely call them “boring”.

Good-bye, Natalie and Nadiya. I was and am a fan. And I will terribly miss that “Come on, Twinnie!!!”  As will many, many, many of us.

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

TAR 23 “POSTMORTEM” (Or Lessons From This Race That Could Help Make Future Seasons Better)

In a few days the year 2013 will be forever gone. On the eve of the new year we often look back at the past year’s ups and downs, successes and failures. Another year is gone, and another season of TAR is history.

And maybe “postmortem” is not the best word for it, but it’s only natural for a fan of  The Amazing Race to look back and reflect upon the past Race. The great things about this show are obvious, so I will not focus on those. I’ll focus on what (in my humble opinion) can make TAR more interesting and fun.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad season. We had some potentially interesting teams that unfortunately got eliminated early, yet it didn’t spoil the rest of the season.

Three of the more entertaining teams made it almost to the end: the Afghanimals – Leo and Jamal (entertaining because they were mischievous, light-hearted and fun); the Exes – Tim and Marie (entertaining because we loved to hate their bickering and hated to love the fact that it worked for them); the Doctors – Travis and Nicole (entertaining because the whole evolution from “very likable” to “very unlikable” was slowly and amusingly unfolding  right before our eyes).

And even though the winners of the Race  (Jason and Amy) was one of the most bland and boring teams there could be, their win did satisfy those of the fans who want to see the “most deserving” team win. They definitely were deserving – nice, even-tempered, helpful, non-controversial. I am sure they are very nice people in real life. It’s just that “nice” in real life does not necessarily translate into “entertaining” on a reality show.

But all in all – the cast of this season was alright, and it gave us our share of smiles, laughs, head shaking and eye rolling. Some yawns, too, but not terribly many.

However, what would I like to see changed on the future seasons of TAR?  Here goes…

1. Eliminate the equalizers!

It was especially noticeable in the past two seasons – TAR 23 and TAR 22. I realize that for the production of the show it is very difficult logistically to have teams separated by a day or so. But! it is frustrating to watch when someone’s lead completely evaporates, and all the teams run together as one big happy group. Most of the contestants feel safer within the group, but “safer” for them translates into “less interesting” for the viewers. I want to see them guessing, worrying and not knowing where the competition is at the moment. I don’t want to see them running and working side by side.

What would I do about it if I were in TAR production? I would probably give them extra tasks to separate them a little. I gave this example on one of the fans forums: supposedly the teams receive a clue “your next destination is the city whose symbol is a bear and a tree” (like on the picture below that I took this past September). If the team knows the answer without looking up on the internet or receiving any help from anyone (the answer is “Madrid”, by the way) – they automatically get a seat on an earlier flight or some time advantage (because they can move on while those who don’t know the answer keep guessing until getting it right or take, let’s say, an hour time penalty).

Doing this will not only add some time gaps between the teams, but also reward those more knowledgeable about the world. That leads me directly to the next suggestion:

2. More mental challenges, please!

This past season we had a couple of tasks requiring memorization (like in Leg 7 in Abu Dhabi where team members – while in a race car – had to memorize the name and record time of the fastest driver). But there are no really challenging mental tasks. If I had a school age child watching this show, I would want him to see that knowledge and erudition are desirable and rewarded. I would not want him to see that confusing Berlin Wall with the Great Wall of China (like the blondes from TAR 22 did) is funny. Pitiful and embarassing – maybe. But not funny.

I don’t mean I want to see calculus tasks on the show, but I do want to see people using their brains, not just their muscles. If I want to watch intense and physical race – I would watch Tough Mudder, Spartan Race or whatever obstacle race I choose. As in everything – balance is good. So – let’s balance physical challenges and mental.

3. Eliminate non-elimination legs!

Non-elimination legs are my personal UNfavorite even when my favorite teams benefit from them. It’s a race – if you are last, you should be gone. That simple. I know that for production reasons something like this is sometimes a necessity, but why not substitute them with “to be continued” legs?

4. Please disallow the team work!

Yes, “teamwork” sounds good in real life, but on the Race – let each team fend for itself. It is more fun to watch, not to mention the fairness factor. If I were on the Race – I would (much like Leo) totally destroy my creation so that nobody can copy from me (yes, I am evil! but isn’t it fun?).

What made you laugh more – watching Leo hiding his creation from the desperately begging Nicole who was trying oh-so-pathetically to steal a glance? Or watching Amy doing Nicole’s Roadblock? The former was really amusing, the latter – not so much. Besides, it’s not fair to the rest of the teams when four people run almost as a single unit. After all –  it’s a show featuring teams of two, not groups of four.

5. TAR prides itself on being a show about relationships, yet…

Yet we keep seeing again and again the same pigeonholed stereotypes and sob stories. Stereotypes: Your typical look-alike blondes, often boring but young and cute.  Your typical fighting couple. A token “hillbillies”. A couple wanting their relationship to be tested by TAR. And so on, and so forth. Can we see something new? Some different relationship, perhaps? Some refreshing angle?

As for the”sob stories” – remember last season’s father and son team? They were quite bland, but they had a big “sob story” – firstly, surviving cancer; secondly, getting injured on the Race. The show hammered away at this “sob story” so much, you would think it’s a one team show. Please don’t do it again – you’ll get the opposite of your intended effect: you want to get more people glued to their TVs when TAR is on, but instead you will have many of them tuning out.

And while we are at it – can we please cut down on nauseating clichés as well? (“I want to prove to___that___“, “It’s not over until it’s over!“,  “I am doing it for my____”,  “I am not a quitter!“, and so on). These phrases have been so overused on the show that they lost their meaning. They only succeed in triggering eye rolling. If that.

6. Let the teams be in charge of their own luck!

No Express Passes (and no – it’s not loads of fun to watch one team sucking up to another in hopes of obtaining the second Express Pass). No U Turns. I get the intended “shuffling” effect of a U Turn, but! U Turns eliminate certain fairness.  It’s more palatable when you have to bow to the power of the circumstances or blind luck (or lack of thereof) than when you have to bow to the power of some other team to ruin your race by U Turning you. I would suggest to replace U Turns, Fast Forwards, Express Passes with the Amazing Wheel of (Mis)Fortune (or some such) where each team spins to find out their destiny – whether it is a U Turn or Yield or Fast Forward. This way – we’ll have all the U Turns, Yields and Fast Forwards without the hurt feelings and unfairness.

7. Make final leg less linear and more exciting!

The winners of this season were basically determined by their luck in the final Roadblock. They had to drop a bag of flour from the plane and hit a target on the ground. Not too much skill was involved in the task – it was pure luck. The order in which they finished this task was the order in which they arrived to the Finish Line. No surprises there, no drama, no unpredictability. The scenery (it was in Alaska) was gorgeous, the rest – ho-hum. I wish – at least in the final leg – the luck factor is minimized and the skill factor is emphasized.

I know it is customary (and I think –  very fair!) to have at least one “mental” task during the final leg. But usually it’s just a memory task. Since all the contestants keep detailed notes and are allowed to use them, it does not become a challenge at all – every team takes about the same time to complete it. Why not make it more challenging? Use memory without the notes? use your knowledge and erudition? use your brain? That would definitely spice things up and make them more exciting.

I can go on and on, but I should better know when to stop  🙂

If you have any thoughts – please post them. And in any case – Happy New Year! May it be peaceful, healthy, prosperous and exciting for all of us.

And may each new season of The Amazing Race be better than the previous and not the other way around!  🙂

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html

DOWNHILL TO THE FINISH LINE (Finale TAR 23)

Since due to my being on the road I was only able to write this recap two days after the TAR 23 finale, it’s fair to assume that most fans know by now which team won this season. And most fans – much like myself – were very sad to say goodbye to the Afghanimals in Japan (at the end of the first hour of this 2 hour finale).

The Afghanimals are the first to arrive in Japan. It’s weird, but the rest of the teams run as a 6-people-pack – more preoccupied with all things about the Afghanimals than with the race itself. Even their taxis run together as a cortege of 3 until finally Marie and Tim break away. The challenges are fun, and the Afghanimals quickly complete their Speed Bump. But! Once again TAR allows two teams work together on the Roadblock  – which puts the teams who work alone at a big disadvantage. I don’t know about you, but I have huge issue with TAR allowing Team Roadblocks! If it were not for that, if it were not for Amy almost single handedly finishing Nicole’s Roadblock (again!!!), I am sure the Afghanimals would be one of the three final teams (and I am pretty sure Nicole would still be trying to figure out how to assemble that robot in Japan). Some people might say that Amy was too nice, but I believe she actually was mean – after all, it’s because of her that we were deprived of the Afghanimals!

And without the Afghanimals it was all downhill to the finish line. No lightheartedness, no amusing mischief, not much joy – just dead seriousness and sheer determination to win that million dollar prize. Yes, it’s a lot of money. But divided by two and taxed at 40% plus – is it worth it to sacrifice the joy of the race for?

Anyway…Amy/Jason, Marie/Tim and Nicole/Travis run neck in neck  (or rather – fly together) from Japan to Juno, Alaska. We are treated to gorgeous shots of lakes, forests and glaciers. It’s amazing how gorgeous shots always save the race.  The first task is the Roadblock that is supposed to simulate a supply drop from a plane. All the ladies are performing this task where they had to throw something (a bag of flour, I believe) from a small plane and hit the target painted on the ground. I doubt there is much skill involved in this task – it’s mostly luck. The luckiest one is Amy – she is the first to hit the target. The second one is Marie, and hapless Nicole is the last. This order stays exactly the same until the Finish Line. I have no idea why Phil called it an unpredictable finish – if this is UNpredictable, what would he call predictable?!

So yes, Amy and Jason won this season of The Amazing Race. Exciting? Not really. Deserving winners? I guess. They were relatively nice, relatively strong, relatively even in their performance.  Yet the only somewhat memorable thing about them was Amy’s penchant of doing other team’s Roadblocks. Jason called himself and his girlfriend one of the best teams ever. Get a life, Jason. Six 2nd place finishes might make you one of the strong teams, but “best” is not the same as “strong”. “Best” does not include “bland“, “blah” and “boring” even if it begins with the same letter. Deserving they might be, but interesting and entertaining they definitely were not. Even at the Finish Line, they were promptly forgotten by Phil and the rest of the cast once a more interesting team – Tim and Marie – arrived. And no wonder – Tim and Marie are more fun, their relationship is unorthodox, their chemistry is charmingly quirky – even their pre-race arrangement  (to divide all the future winnings 60-40 rather than 50-50) was quite curious! Tim got the warmest round of applause – perhaps as a reward for putting up with Marie. But I actually think these two are pretty happy with each other’s company.

Travis and Nicole were the third team to arrive. You know, there was time when I almost wished that they won the Race – just to see if Amy would regret those Team Roadblocks. But that would be a total fluke. I actually do not know what I find more repulsive – Nicole’s ineptness and constant crumbling under the slightest of pressures or Travis’ terrible treatment of his hapless wife. I almost wanted to feel sorry for Nicole, and I would if it were not for her smugness, hypocrisy and righteousness. I guess those two deserve each other.

Well, what do you think? Are you sad the Afghanimals did not make it to the final three? Do you think TAR production should make the rules clear and not allow Team Roadblocks in the future? After all, the show is about the teams of two, not the teams of four, etc. Are you happy or disappointed the next season will be All-Stars?

And here you can find the most up-to-date links on all things The Amazing Race:

http://www.sirlinksalot.net/amazingrace.html